spotlight

  Corrupting minds since 2004 ....

 
 

Wednesday, August 8, 2018

... Link (0 comments) ... Comment


Tuesday, July 17, 2018
truthdig II

... Link (0 comments) ... Comment


Monday, July 16, 2018
truthdig

... Link (0 comments) ... Comment


Thursday, July 12, 2018

His will provided $30,000 for an elaborate funeral. As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Helen, turned to her oldest friend.

"Well, I'm sure Joe would be pleased," she said.

"I'm sure you're right," replied Sue, who lowered her voice and leaned in close. "So how much did this really cost?"

"All of it," said Helen.

"Thirty thousand." Sue exclaimed, "No! I mean, it was very nice, but $30,000?"

Helen answered,
"The funeral was $6,000.
I donated $500 to the church.
The wake, food, and drinks were another $500.
The rest went for the memorial stone.”

Sue thought for a minute, computing, and said,
"$23,000 for a memorial stone? Geez, how big is it?”

Helen said,
“Two and a half carats.”

... Link (0 comments) ... Comment


Wednesday, July 11, 2018

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

"House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa." "Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz."

A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?" Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun .. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computadora"), because:

  1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

  2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

  3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval;

  4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay check on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine
("el computador"), because:

  1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on

  2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

  3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem;

  4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

... Link (0 comments) ... Comment


Thursday, July 5, 2018
Shame! Shame! Shame!

Obnoxious cruelty for Jesus: Trophy hunter Tess Thompson Talley is defending her senseless killing of a rare black giraffe

black giraffe down

... Link (0 comments) ... Comment


Monday, July 2, 2018

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

I had amnesia once -- or twice.

Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.

Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.

When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

How can there be self-help "groups"?

Is there another word for synonym?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

The speed of time is one-second per second.

Is it possible to be totally partial?

Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.

It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.

Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

... Link (0 comments) ... Comment


Wednesday, June 27, 2018

[Source of picture]

... Link (0 comments) ... Comment


Alaska

More than half of the coastline of the entire United States is in Alaska.

Amazon

The Amazon rain forest produces more than 20% of the world's oxygen supply.

The Amazon River pushes so much water into the Atlantic Ocean that, more than one hundred miles at sea off the mouth of the river, one can dip fresh water out of the ocean. The volume of water in the Amazon river is greater than the next eight largest rivers in the world combined and three times the flow of all rivers in the United States.

Antarctica

Antarctica is the only land on our planet that is not owned by any country. Ninety percent of the world's ice covers Antarctica. This ice also represents seventy percent of all the fresh water in the world. As strange as it sounds, however, Antarctica is essentially a desert; the average yearly total precipitation is about two inches. Although covered with ice (all but 0.4% of it, ice.), Antarctica is the driest place on the planet, with an absolute humidity lower than the Gobi desert.

Brazil

Brazil got its name from the nut, not the other way around.

Canada

Canada has more lakes than the rest of the world combined. Canada is an Indian word meaning 'Big Village'.

Chicago

Next to Warsaw, Chicago has the largest Polish population in the world.

Detroit

Woodward Avenue in Detroit, Michigan, carries the designation M-1, so named because it was the first paved road anywhere.

Syria

Damascus, Syria, was flourishing a couple of thousand years before Rome was founded in 753 BC making it the oldest continuously inhabited city in existence.

Turkey

Istanbul, Turkey, is the only city in the world
located on two continents.

Los Angeles

The full name of Los Angeles is: El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de Los Angeles de Porciuncula
-- and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size: L.A.

New York City

The term 'The Big Apple' was coined by touring jazz musicians of the 1930s who used the slang expression 'apple' for any town or city. Therefore, to play New York City is to play the big time - The Big Apple.

There are more Irish in New York City than in Dublin, Ireland;

more Italians in New York City than in Rome, Italy;

and more Jews in New York City than in Tel Aviv, Israel.

Ohio

There are no natural lakes in the state of Ohio, every one is man-made.

Pitcairn Island

The smallest island with country status is Pitcairn in Polynesia, at just 1.75 sq.miles / 4,53 sq.Km.

Rome

The first city to reach a population of 1 million people was Rome, Italy (in 133 B.C.)

There is a city called "Rome" on every continent.

S.M.O.M.

The actual smallest sovereign entity in the world
Is the Sovereign Military Order of Malta (S.M.O.M).
It is located in the city of Rome, Italy, and has an area of two tennis courts. And, as of 2001, has a population of 80, 20 less people than the Vatican. It is a sovereign entity under international law, just as the Vatican is.

Siberia

Siberia contains more than 25% of the world's forests.

Sahara Desert

In the Sahara Desert, there is a town named Tidikelt, Algeria, that did not receive a drop of rain for ten years. Technically, though, the driest place on Earth is in the valleys of the Antarctic near Ross Island. There has been no rainfall there for two million years

Spain

Spain literally means 'the land of rabbits'.

Minnesota

St. Paul, Minnesota, was originally called Pig's Eye after a man named Pierre 'Pig's Eye' Parrant who set up the first business there.

Roads

Chances that a road is unpaved:
in the U.S.A, = 1%;
in Canada = 75%

Russia

The deepest hole ever drilled by man is the Kola Superdeep Borehole, in Russia It reached a depth of 12,261 meters (about 40,226 feet or 7.62 miles.) It was drilled for scientific research and gave up some unexpected discoveries, one of which was a huge deposit of hydrogen - so massive that the mud coming from the hole was boiling with it.

United States

The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.

Waterfalls

The water of Angel Falls (the world's highest) in Venezuela drops 3,212 feet (979 meters.) They are 15 times higher than Niagara Falls.

... Link (0 comments) ... Comment


Tuesday, May 22, 2018
How can one tell the sex of flies ...?

I can relate to this ....

... Link (0 comments) ... Comment


Monday, April 23, 2018

chako

Excerpt from an article at "truthdig"

  • worth every minute of approximately 12 min. reading time ....

... Link (0 comments) ... Comment


Thursday, April 5, 2018
A newsletter full of lies and false assumptions ....

Today a friend sent a newsletter - and I couldn't resist to show some alternatives to the author's conclusions. Most Americans ask questions and state the obvious. But the 'brainwash' in the basic school system keeps them from questioning "American Exceptionalism" and military / secret services intervention and covert actions around the world. And it has gotten worse through the years since after WWII .... no end in sight.

[source: Simon Black; sovereignman.com]

“What is it about this place that makes it so poor?”
It was a simple question posed to me by a friend as we walked the streets of Managua, Nicaragua earlier this week.
Nicaragua is a lovely place. But it’s poor. Very poor. It’s the least developed economy in Central America... and that’s saying something.
But it’s worth considering: what makes an economy like Nicaragua so poor? And what makes others so wealthy?
Having traveled to nearly 120 countries, I’ve seen the full range of rich and poor nations. And I’ll tell you, it has nothing to do with natural resources or anything like that.
I often have meetings with senior ministers and government officials around the world who tell me all about the amazing resources they have in their country.
“We have so much forestry land,” or, “Our bauxite reserves are among the highest in the world…”
Irrelevant. Venezuela has incredible oil reserves. Yet they’ve been living in poverty for years.
(Now that oil prices are down the Venezuelan government has had to declare every single Friday a holiday because they can’t afford to keep the lights on.)
Ukraine has some of the most exceptional farmland on the planet. But the country is totally broke.
150 years ago, Hong Kong was a tiny village of illiterate fisherman.
50 years ago in Singapore they used to defecate in the streets, and visitors would have to step over rivers of feces in the downtown area.
25 years ago Estonia was still part of the crumbling Soviet Union.
None of those places has any resources to speak of. But they’ve become among the wealthiest in the world.
What’s the difference between Hong Kong and Ukraine? Singapore and Venezuela? Estonia and Nicaragua?
One of the things I’ve learned in my travels over the years is that wealthy nations do have some common characteristics.
Left: Original;            Right: Alternative
 

1.

The first set is cultural. Wealthy nations have a culture that values hard work. Knowledge. Productivity. Innovation. Risk-taking. Saving. Self-reliance.
I’m not trying to say that people in poor countries don’t work hard. Far from it.
The point is that if working hard and saving money are strong CULTURAL values (which tends to be the case in Asia), a country is going to do better.

1a.

Wealthy nations have a culture to blame unemployment on the individual, not on mistakes made by corporate leaders. Knowledge that's free (Secondary Education) is underfunded; Higher education is so expensive that the majority of graduates carry this debt for decades.
Innovation, if successful, will be bought up to curb competition, flanked by laws and regulations.
Countries do better by exploiting cheap labor in those countries they previously destabilized in order to install puppet regimes.

2.

Second, wealthy nations have much better institutions. The rule of law is strong. Private property rights are strong. Corruption is limited. Regulation is sensible. Taxation is reasonable and efficient.
It’s simple; no one wants to do business in a corrupt dictatorship.
Bad institutions drive away foreign investors. And as capital is one of the critical components of economic growth, choking off external investment suffocates an economy.

2a.

Second, wealthy nati­ons have more 'fine tuned' insti­tu­ti­ons with a layout favoring those who can afford it. Thus the rule of law is dependent on the amount of money invested. Pri­vate pro­perty rights are good only if there isn't an economic advantage for the rich if they grab it.
Cor­rup­tion is called "networking". Regu­la­tion is in favor of those who belong to the establishment. Taxa­tion is for those who derive income from work - those earning through 'investment' don't pay.
Investment into the U.S.A. dropped since Trump took office - but he's just outspoken, whereas the former administrations dealt their biased actions for the rich in secrecy.

3.

Last (and most importantly), wealthy nations have an “inclusive” economy.
This means that people aren’t medieval serfs toiling away for the establishment. If someone develops skills, works hard, and takes risks, they’ve got a good chance of moving up the socioeconomic food chain.
Economists call this “income mobility”. In the United States it’s known as the “American Dream”.

3a.

People are no longer slaves belonging to a person - nowadays they belong to corporations. The data show that only in rare cases people reach another level on the social ladder. The few who make it are advertised, those who don't are not recognized. They are the majority.
Solidarity with the weak is dead, compassion is practiced by word, the conscience is numbed by a charity check on Christmas.
Any 'surplus' on income has to be saved for retirement, as the systems in place (Social Security) have been plundered to pay for excessive military spending.

Babble

Yet all three of these factors are starting to disappear in the US… and in the West in general.
America’s self-reliant, risk-taking, hard working, pioneering culture helped propel it to become the wealthiest nation on the planet.
But these traits are rapidly vanishing, displaced by a culture that values instant gratification, consumer debt, and government handouts.
The institutions are faltering as well. Rule of Law is less predictable, with the government changing the rules in its sole discretion whenever it likes.

Facts

The exploitation all around the world leaves almost no more resources to rob. The decline is also due to the fact that former producers of raw material learned that it pays to install and boost production of goods & sale of those without the middle-man.
The US-System itself fostert consumer debt because the banks had no limit to bar them from ripping off the average Joe. To blame the so called "gouvernment handouts" is absurd, when miltary spending is thousandfold that of help for the poor and needy.
The rule of law has changed only in one direction: To the advantage of those who can afford an expensive law firm that doesn't ask what's right or wrong but only how much money can be squeezed out of any single client.
They pass new rules every day governing everything from what you can/cannot put in your own body, to how you are allowed to raise your own child, with much of it enforced at gunpoint.
And through an official form of theft known as Civil Asset Forfeiture, government agencies now steal more private property from people than all the thieves and burglars in the country combined.
This is banana republic stuff.
Most of all, though, it’s the economic structure that’s eroding.
The inclusive economy of America is vanishing. It’s becoming ‘extractive,’ meaning that the system is designed for the benefit of the establishment and rigged against the individual.
You can see this most notably in finance; central bankers have held interest rates down to practically zero for eight years in order to bail out large banks and the federal government.
Yet in doing so, they have decimated the prospects for retirees, responsible savers, and most of all, young people.
It’s no wonder that the Middle Class no longer comprises the largest segment of the US population, according to Pew Research.
Larry Fink, CEO of Blackrock (the largest asset management firm in the world) said that a typical 35-year old will now need to set aside 3x as much money for retirement as his/her parents did, simply because interest rates are so low.
And William Dudley, President of the Federal Reserve Bank of NY (and one of the most important Fed officials) recently remarked how the US is falling behind in terms of income mobility.
“The chance of achieving the American Dream,” he told his audience, “is not the highest for children born in America.”
That’s a pretty amazing statement, and it highlights how obvious (and important) these trends are.
Again, we’re not talking about ‘What If’. We’re talking about ‘What Is.’ And it has profound implications for your long-term prosperity.

... Link (0 comments) ... Comment


Sunday, March 25, 2018
Der Teufel Alkohol ....

Dem Herrn bloedbabbler gewidmet ....










... Link (0 comments) ... Comment


Monday, March 5, 2018

CALLER:
Is this Gordon's Pizza?

A NATIONAL COMPANY:
No sir, it's A National Company Pizza.

CALLER:
I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.

A NATIONAL COMPANY:
No sir, A National Company bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.

CALLER:
OK. I would like to order a pizza.

A NATIONAL COMPANY:
Do you want your usual, sir?

CALLER:
My usual? You know me?

A NATIONAL COMPANY:
According to our caller ID
data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza
with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick
crust.

CALLER:
OK! That’s what I want ...

A NATIONAL COMPANY:
May I suggest that this
time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and
olives on a whole wheat gluten free thin crust?

CALLER:
What? I detest vegetables.

A NATIONAL COMPANY:
Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

CALLER:
How the hell do you know?

A NATIONAL COMPANY:
Well, we cross-referenced
your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of
your blood tests for the last 7 years.

CALLER:!
Okay, but I do not want
your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.

A NATIONAL COMPANY:
Excuse me sir, but you have
not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you only
purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4
months ago.

CALLER:
I bought more from another drugstore.

A NATIONAL COMPANY:
That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.

CALLER:
I paid in cash.

A NATIONAL COMPANY:
But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.

CALLER:
I have other sources of cash.

A NATIONAL COMPANY:
That doesn’t show on your
last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source,
which is against the law.

CALLER:
WHAT !!!

A NATIONAL COMPANY:
I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of
helping you.

CALLER:
Enough already! I'm sick to
death of A National Company, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going
to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone
service and no one to watch me or spy on me.

A NATIONAL COMPANY:
I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6
weeks ago...

... Link (0 comments) ... Comment


Wednesday, February 21, 2018
The Elephants Knew

THE ELEPHANTS JOURNEYED TO PAY RESPECT.
BUT HOW DID THEY KNOW?

1

Lawrence Anthony is a legend in South Africa, and author of 3 books including the bestseller, The Elephant Whisperer. He bravely rescued wildlife and rehabilitated elephants all over the globe from human atrocities, including the courageous rescue of Baghdad Zoo animals during US invasion in 2003.

Anthony was the author of numerous books on wildlife conservation. He also created the 5,000-acre Thula Thula wildlife sanctuary and adopted herds of elephants that would have been killed, according to the New York Times obituary.

On March 7, 2012 Lawrence Anthony died. He is remembered and missed by his wife, 2 sons, 2 grandsons, and numerous elephants.

Two days after his passing, the wild elephants showed up at his home led by two large matriarchs. Separate wild herds arrived in droves to say goodbye to their beloved 'man-friend'.

2

A total of 31 elephants walked over 12 hours to get to his South African House.

Witnessing this spectacle, humans were obviously in awe not only because of the intelligence and precise timing that these elephants exhibited about Anthony's passing, but also because of the profound memory and emotion the beloved animals evoked in such an organized way, walking slowly,
making their way in a solemn one-by-one queue from their habitat to his house. Lawrence's wife, Francoise, was especially touched, knowing that the elephants had not been to his house prior to that day for 3 years.

The elephants obviously wanted to pay their deep respects, honouring their friend who'd saved their lives - so much respect that they stayed for 2 days 2 nights without eating anything.

Then one morning, they left, making their long journey back home.

Some things in the universe are greater & deeper than human intelligence.

... Link (0 comments) ... Comment


Sunday, February 18, 2018
"Disorder in the Court"

These are from a book called "Disorder in the Court" and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.


ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.


ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.


ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.


ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?


ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, very close to your IQ.


ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?


ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid


ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?


ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.


ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.


ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.


ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.


ATTORNEY: ALL of your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you attend?
WITNESS: Oral.


ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.


ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?


ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you
check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

... Link (0 comments) ... Comment


Friday, February 16, 2018

Hi, Fred, this is Alan, next door. I have a confession to make. I have been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face, but I am at least telling you in text as I cannot live with myself a moment longer without you knowing. The truth is when you’re not around I have been sharing your wife day and night. In fact, probably much more than you. I haven’t been getting it at home recently, and I know that’s no excuse. The temptation was just too great. I can no longer live with the guilt and hope that you will accept my sincerest apology and forgive me. It won’t happen again. Please suggest a fee for usage and I’ll pay you.

Regards, Alan.

NEIGHBOR’S RESPONSE

Fred, feeling very angered and betrayed, got his gun and shot his neighbor Alan dead. He returned home, poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa.

Then Fred took out his phone where he saw a second message from Alan.

SECOND MESSAGE

Hi, Fred, this is Alan next door, again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I expect that you figured it out and noticed that darned Auto-Correct changed “wi-fi” to “wife.” That’s today’s technology for you!

... Link (0 comments) ... Comment


Sunday, January 28, 2018

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up.

... Link (0 comments) ... Comment


Monday, November 20, 2017
    1.   

    The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was   
    Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.   

    2.   
    I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island,   
    but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .   

    3.   
    She was only a whisky-maker, but he loved her still.   

    4.   
    A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class,   
    because it was a weapon of math disruption.   

    5.   
    No matter how much you push the envelope,  
    it'll still be stationery.   


    6.   
    A dog gave birth to puppies near the road   
    and was cited for littering.   


    7.   
    A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would   
    result in Linoleum Blownapart.   


    8.   
    Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.   


    9.   
    A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall.   
    The police are looking into it.   


    10.   
    Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.   


    11.   
    Atheism is a non-prophet organization.   


    12.  
    Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.   
    One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'   


    13.   
    I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.   


    14.   
    A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said:   
    'Keep off the Grass.'   


    15.   
    The midget fortune-teller who escaped from  
    prison was a small medium at large.   


    16.   
    The soldier who survived mustard gas and   
    pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran..   


    17.   
    A backward poet writes inverse.   


    18.   
    In a democracy it's your vote that counts.   
    In feudalism it's your count that votes.   


    19.   
    When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.   


    20.   
    If you jumped off the bridge in Paris , you'd be in Seine .   


    21.   
    A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an airplane.   
    The stewardess looks at him and says,   
    'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'   


    22.   
    Two fish swim into a concrete wall.   
    One turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'   

    23.   
    Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly,   
    so they lit a fire in the craft.   
    Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again   
    that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.   


    24.   
    Two hydrogen atoms meet.   
    One says, 'I've lost my electron.'   
    The other says,'Are you sure?'   
    The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'   


    25.   
    Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain   
    during a root-canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.   


    26.           
    There was the person who sent ten puns to friends,   
    with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.   
    No pun in ten did.

... Link (0 comments) ... Comment


Saturday, November 18, 2017
swe

... Link (0 comments) ... Comment


Thursday, November 16, 2017
swe

... Link (0 comments) ... Comment




Logic is overrated.
 
Online for 2662 days
Last modified: 8/8/18 2:10 AM
Status
You are not logged in
... Login
Main Menu

* LATEST *




Search
Calendar
August 2018
SunMonTueWedThuFriSat
1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031
July
Comments
LOL
liuea, 10 months ago

Mr.Yoda, 10 months ago
gib einem christen einen fisch
und er teilt ihn mit seinem nächsten. gib einem...
liuea, 10 months ago
Mir gefällt die allerletzte Variante
- Brett gehalten von zwei Händen - am Besten....
Mr.Yoda, 2 years ago
Total klasse :D vor
allem die Schreibmaschinentastatur
Wolkenweberin, 2 years ago
appreciation amused
again
wilhelm peter, 4 years ago
"use common sense" was what
my foster father told me in '63 - how...
Mr.Yoda, 4 years ago
stop worrying about stop-lists die
ägypter hatten 40 verbote die juden 10 plus zahlreicher verhaltensorders...
wilhelm peter, 4 years ago
I wonder why the
man doesn't just walk off ....
Mr.Yoda, 4 years ago
super
wilhelm peter, 4 years ago

RSS feed

Made with Antville


Helma Object Publisher