Corrupting minds since 2004 ....


Monday, March 5, 2018

Is this Gordon's Pizza?

No sir, it's A National Company Pizza.

I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.

No sir, A National Company bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.

OK. I would like to order a pizza.

Do you want your usual, sir?

My usual? You know me?

According to our caller ID
data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza
with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick

OK! That’s what I want ...

May I suggest that this
time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and
olives on a whole wheat gluten free thin crust?

What? I detest vegetables.

Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

How the hell do you know?

Well, we cross-referenced
your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of
your blood tests for the last 7 years.

Okay, but I do not want
your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.

Excuse me sir, but you have
not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you only
purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4
months ago.

I bought more from another drugstore.

That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.

I paid in cash.

But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.

I have other sources of cash.

That doesn’t show on your
last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source,
which is against the law.

WHAT !!!

I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of
helping you.

Enough already! I'm sick to
death of A National Company, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going
to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone
service and no one to watch me or spy on me.

I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6
weeks ago...

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Wednesday, February 21, 2018
The Elephants Knew



Lawrence Anthony is a legend in South Africa, and author of 3 books including the bestseller, The Elephant Whisperer. He bravely rescued wildlife and rehabilitated elephants all over the globe from human atrocities, including the courageous rescue of Baghdad Zoo animals during US invasion in 2003.

Anthony was the author of numerous books on wildlife conservation. He also created the 5,000-acre Thula Thula wildlife sanctuary and adopted herds of elephants that would have been killed, according to the New York Times obituary.

On March 7, 2012 Lawrence Anthony died. He is remembered and missed by his wife, 2 sons, 2 grandsons, and numerous elephants.

Two days after his passing, the wild elephants showed up at his home led by two large matriarchs. Separate wild herds arrived in droves to say goodbye to their beloved 'man-friend'.


A total of 31 elephants walked over 12 hours to get to his South African House.

Witnessing this spectacle, humans were obviously in awe not only because of the intelligence and precise timing that these elephants exhibited about Anthony's passing, but also because of the profound memory and emotion the beloved animals evoked in such an organized way, walking slowly,
making their way in a solemn one-by-one queue from their habitat to his house. Lawrence's wife, Francoise, was especially touched, knowing that the elephants had not been to his house prior to that day for 3 years.

The elephants obviously wanted to pay their deep respects, honouring their friend who'd saved their lives - so much respect that they stayed for 2 days 2 nights without eating anything.

Then one morning, they left, making their long journey back home.

Some things in the universe are greater & deeper than human intelligence.

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Sunday, February 18, 2018
"Disorder in the Court"

These are from a book called "Disorder in the Court" and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.

ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, very close to your IQ.

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

ATTORNEY: ALL of your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you attend?

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you
check for a pulse?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

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Friday, February 16, 2018

Hi, Fred, this is Alan, next door. I have a confession to make. I have been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face, but I am at least telling you in text as I cannot live with myself a moment longer without you knowing. The truth is when you’re not around I have been sharing your wife day and night. In fact, probably much more than you. I haven’t been getting it at home recently, and I know that’s no excuse. The temptation was just too great. I can no longer live with the guilt and hope that you will accept my sincerest apology and forgive me. It won’t happen again. Please suggest a fee for usage and I’ll pay you.

Regards, Alan.


Fred, feeling very angered and betrayed, got his gun and shot his neighbor Alan dead. He returned home, poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa.

Then Fred took out his phone where he saw a second message from Alan.


Hi, Fred, this is Alan next door, again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I expect that you figured it out and noticed that darned Auto-Correct changed “wi-fi” to “wife.” That’s today’s technology for you!

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Sunday, January 28, 2018

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up.

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Monday, November 20, 2017

    The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was   
    Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.   

    I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island,   
    but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .   

    She was only a whisky-maker, but he loved her still.   

    A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class,   
    because it was a weapon of math disruption.   

    No matter how much you push the envelope,  
    it'll still be stationery.   

    A dog gave birth to puppies near the road   
    and was cited for littering.   

    A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would   
    result in Linoleum Blownapart.   

    Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.   

    A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall.   
    The police are looking into it.   

    Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.   

    Atheism is a non-prophet organization.   

    Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.   
    One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'   

    I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.   

    A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said:   
    'Keep off the Grass.'   

    The midget fortune-teller who escaped from  
    prison was a small medium at large.   

    The soldier who survived mustard gas and   
    pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran..   

    A backward poet writes inverse.   

    In a democracy it's your vote that counts.   
    In feudalism it's your count that votes.   

    When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.   

    If you jumped off the bridge in Paris , you'd be in Seine .   

    A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an airplane.   
    The stewardess looks at him and says,   
    'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'   

    Two fish swim into a concrete wall.   
    One turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'   

    Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly,   
    so they lit a fire in the craft.   
    Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again   
    that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.   

    Two hydrogen atoms meet.   
    One says, 'I've lost my electron.'   
    The other says,'Are you sure?'   
    The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'   

    Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain   
    during a root-canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.   

    There was the person who sent ten puns to friends,   
    with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.   
    No pun in ten did.

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Saturday, November 18, 2017

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Thursday, November 16, 2017

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Wednesday, October 25, 2017

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Monday, September 4, 2017


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Monday, August 21, 2017

After Muslims demanded the removal of a billboard criticizing the Islamic prophet Muhammad (picture), owner Don Woodsmall had a brilliant response.

Just days ago, Muslim groups across the US. loudly condemned a billboard along Interstate 465 in Indianapolis, Indiana. The sign contains a simple message which reads, “The Perfect Man,” with check-marked bullet points including “Rapist,” “13 wives, 11 at one time,” and “Tortured & killed unbelievers”

Instantly, Muslims knew the billboard was calling out their prophet. When Muslims noticed a billboard calling their prophet Muhammad a “rapist” who “married a 6-year-old” and “beheaded Jews,” they immediately demanded the removal of the “racist and Islamophobic” message. However, the uproar forced the billboard’s owner to come forward — and he has just one thing to say to them.

Although Islam was never mentioned, instantly, Muslims knew the billboard was calling out their prophet Muhammad, prompting them to demand the sign’s removal in accordance with Sharia blasphemy laws. This national outcry has already prompted the sign’s owner to relinquish his personal safety by coming forward to not only take credit for the billboard’s construction but issue yet another daring message to “truthophobes” who deny its credibility.

WTHR reports that Don Woodsmall, who is a Duke law school graduate, has proudly taken responsibility for the billboard but says that while he is unafraid to show his face to the dangerous Muslim community, he’ll protect his clients’ identities. Woodsmall came forward to local media to slam free speech objectors and confidently declared that he would gladly remove the sign himself — all they have to do is prove the statements wrong.

In his statement, Woodsmall says, “It is interesting to note… the Muslim community knew exactly who the billboard is referring to. The truth is a powerful weapon.”

Woodsmall explained that he only agreed to erect the sign after thoroughly researching each claim and finding proof directly in the passages of the Quran and hadith. In addition, he spoke to at least half a dozen Islamic scholars who confirmed the scriptures in question.

“I was convinced that each point listed on the billboard was historically and factually true. I would encourage others to do their own research to verify the veracity of each and every point,” Woodsmall wrote. He also noted that he would remove the billboards if the statements are proven to be false.

Despite Muslims demanding that Woodsmall name his clients, undoubtedly for nefarious purposes, the billboard owner refuses to endanger their lives. The unwavering owner slammed the sign’s critics, reminding them that it is the very definition of free speech to question and tear apart lies and toxic ideologies.

“My clients want this national conversation to happen if we are ever to overcome the violence that plagues Islam,” he wrote to 13 Investigates. “This is not only pro-American, but beneficial to Muslims who came to America to escape the Sharia.”

Disturbingly, designated terrorist group CAIR and lying Muslims are declaring the message “racist” and “Islamophobic,” although none can provide any scripture or historical text to back up their claims. On the other hand, each one of the bullet points has a direct correlation to the Quran and hadith.

§ “Married 6 year old” — Sahih Muslim (8:3309), Sahih Bukhari (58:234, 3896, 5158, and 3311)

§ “Beheaded 600 Jews in one day” — Quran (33:26), Ibn Ishaq/Hisham (674), Abu Dawud (4390)

§ “Slave owner & dealer” — Sahih Muslim (3901), Sahih Bukhari (47:743), Quran (4:24, 33:52)

§ “13 wives, 11 at one time” — Sahih Bukhari (62:6), Sahih Bukhari (5:268)

§ “Rapist” — Abu Dawud (2150), Sahih Muslim (3433), Quran (4:24, 33:50), Sahih Bukhari (34:432), Sahih Muslim (3371)

§ “Tortured & killed unbelievers” — Quran (8:67), Sahih Muslim (4322), Sahih Bukhari (52:256, 11:626), (Ibn Ishaq/Hisham 819, Ibn Kathir v3 p.403), 109 verses of violence.

If the Muslim critics were honest, they’d point out that the only flaw in Woodsmall’s message is that Muhammad didn’t necessarily behead 600 Jews in one day — historical records say it is between 500 and 900 Jews and likely over a period of several days.

If the left considers it “hate speech” to summarize these Islamic passages, it’s time for them to admit that the Quran and hadith are full of violent and bigoted hate speech.

It’s not racist to denounce Muhammad’s ownership of dozens of black slaves as racist. In fact, it’s racist of Muslims and leftist to defend Muhammad’s slave ownership and attempt to censor it. The truth is that the prophet Muhammad boasted of his own racist slave ownership, sex slavery, marriage to a child, many wives and mass slaughter of unbelieving men, women, and children.

These are not fear-mongering allegations, but direct quotations from the prophet, his closest companions, and even his favorite child bride, Aisha.

It is inexcusable for Muslims to demand we shut up or apologize for pointing out the sadistic behavior of their prophet. Instead, they are the ones who should be apologizing for calling a slave-owning, murdering, polygamist, pedophile rapist the “perfect man” and denounce his actions immediately.

[Via e-mail sent from the U.S.A.]

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Thursday, August 10, 2017
European view on America

The sub­title reads:
" .. A great piece of stand-up comedy explai­ning how more and more Europeans see US for­eign policy. Also a nice run­down of modern history for those who need it .. "

Go to => This address

[iframes impossible here]

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Monday, July 24, 2017

["mouseover" für Steuerelemente ...!]


[embed] "" [/embed]
[embed] "" [/embed]

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Friday, July 14, 2017
The Uninhabitable Earth

" .. Several of the scientists I spoke with proposed global warming as the solution to Fermi’s famous paradox, which asks, If the universe is so big, then why haven’t we encountered any other intelligent life in it? The answer, they suggested, is that the natural life span of a civilization may be only several thousand years, and the life span of an industrial civilization perhaps only several hundred. In a universe that is many billions of years old, with star systems separated as much by time as by space, civilizations might emerge and develop and burn themselves up simply too fast to ever find one another. Peter Ward, a charismatic paleontologist among those responsible for discovering that the planet’s mass extinctions were caused by greenhouse gas, calls this the “Great Filter”: “Civilizations rise, but there’s an environmental filter that causes them to die off again and disappear fairly quickly,” he told me. “If you look at planet Earth, the filtering we’ve had in the past has been in these mass extinctions.” The mass extinction we are now living through has only just begun; so much more dying is coming .."

This quote is taken from an article I recently got from a friend's son living in California.

In short it says: We are doomed - no escape, we are already far beyond the 'point of no return'.

There are days when I highly appreciate to be 72 years of age. I won't have to live through what is going to happen after 2050 .... lucky me.

Have a look how 'Christians' argue against climate change - it's a good example of how religion makes/keeps people dumb.

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Thursday, July 6, 2017

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Tuesday, July 4, 2017
Letter to a Christian (Spouse)

.... may be adressed at anyone who believes ....

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" .. All prejudice is learned behavior,
something that develops as we get older .. "

Video 1

Video 2

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Friday, June 9, 2017

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn’t always fair, and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned, but overbearing, regulations were set in place.

Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teenagers suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they had themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer paracetamol, sun lotion or plaster to a pupil, but could not inform the parents when a pupil became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as churches became businesses and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home, but the burglar could sue you for assault because you protected yourself and your own.

Common Sense finally passed away after a 7-year-old child was suspended from school for chewing a Pop Tart into the shape of a gun.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion, his daughter, Responsibility and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I’m A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized that he was gone.

[Via email, Thank you, John ...!]

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Sunday, May 28, 2017
Guess where this happens ...!

" .. 11 Years Old, a Mom, and Pushed to Marry Her Rapist .. "

Must be an underdeveloped, poor and Third-World-Country.


It's happening in the "Land of the Free", the United States of America .... and it's happening right now, like it did the past one hundred-or-so years before.

Would you imagine that in this country - which is eager to spread its "values" (sometimes forcibly) all over the world - 25 out of their 50 States have no limit on how old a girl MUST be to get married?

What a coincidence: This happens mostly in the States that are the ones where fundamentalist, "devout christians" dwell.


[source / read more: forced child marriage ]

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Tuesday, May 16, 2017
.... a 'comment'

.... that tells you a lot about the author ...!

[source: groopspeak | comments]

I'm not on "facebook" which keeps me from answering to such bulls/* directly. So sad!

OK, what have we got here?
A display of "AMERICAN EXCEPTIONALISM" by a person that probably doesn't know a lot about Europe & NATO.

Germany doesn't "owe" anything to the US, especially not for the troops inside our country. We don't need this spearhead of greedy capitalism here. The US troops in Europe cause more problems than they're solving and they are dislocated to Poland not because of lesser cost but as a threat to the Russians .... this, dear "Eric Saxon" is the real reason. But how should you know just being fed the usual crap by your press, in unison reporting what the average American should know about world politics - not what is actually happening around the world.

And just to let you know: Germans actually get six weeks of paid vacation. You're too brainwashed to realize that "no vacation" will eventually result in "breakdown" or "indifference towards the job" - and you don't see that you have internalized the capitalist parole whereby a 'good' worker is one who spends 50-60 hours/week. Working his butt off for little money and the profit of his boss .... poor soul, you have so much to learn ...!

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Tuesday, May 2, 2017
Another one bites the dust ....

US-policing at it's best ..!

Source /Credits:

" .. Within minutes, the black 15-year-old passenger had been killed — shot in the head by an officer through the front passenger window and pronounced dead at the hospital shortly afterward .. "

The procedure will be as usual:
A long battle in court - and as a result no one will be held accountable.

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Logic is overrated.
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March 2018
liuea, 4 months ago

Mr.Yoda, 4 months ago
gib einem christen einen fisch
und er teilt ihn mit seinem nächsten. gib einem...
liuea, 4 months ago
Mir gefällt die allerletzte Variante
- Brett gehalten von zwei Händen - am Besten....
Mr.Yoda, 1 year ago
Total klasse :D vor
allem die Schreibmaschinentastatur
Wolkenweberin, 1 year ago
appreciation amused
wilhelm peter, 3 years ago
"use common sense" was what
my foster father told me in '63 - how...
Mr.Yoda, 3 years ago
stop worrying about stop-lists die
ägypter hatten 40 verbote die juden 10 plus zahlreicher verhaltensorders...
wilhelm peter, 3 years ago
I wonder why the
man doesn't just walk off ....
Mr.Yoda, 4 years ago
wilhelm peter, 4 years ago

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