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  Corrupting minds since 2004 ....

 
 

Thursday, March 14, 2019

Amazing! I never knew this.

Did you know that the words “listen” and “silent” use the same letters?

Do you also know that the words "race car" spelled backwards still spells “race car"?

And that "eat" is the only word that if you take the first letter and move it to the last, it spells its past tense “ate”.

English is really a strange and wonderful language, isn't it?

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Friday, March 8, 2019


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Monday, March 4, 2019
FIRST DATE

If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.

Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience.

There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter...snowing and quite cold... and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah.
It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and had never been out together before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.

They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte! They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.

Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point here she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.
They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.

Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem, due to the extreme cold.

Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humour of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about “what is taking so long” with a reply that indeed, she was “freezing her butt off” and in need of some assistance! He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as funny as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem.

Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both realized that there was only one way at the time to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.

As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be “pants down.” And you thought your first date was embarrassing? Jay Leno's comment: “This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.”

Oh and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on that Leno show.

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Wednesday, February 13, 2019
Sexual abuse by Southern Baptist pastors

"The most religious are the most rotten!"

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Friday, January 4, 2019
A lost paradise

Something is rotten in the state of Denmark  U.S.A.

In 1997, we - the whole family, parents and children - flew to Denver, Colorado to celebrate Christmas and New Year's Eve with american friends.

In 1998, I spent two months on business in Pensylvania, New York, and Ohio doing business with U.S. companies for one of my clients. Since this was successful, I finally returned in July of the same year - this time to set up an office for the customer and to organize the flow of goods.

Investments of approx. 6.000, - DM were made for office furnishing and equipment. At that time the flat with office was a bit more than 400 US$ for rent - cable, telephone and utilities not included. Today you do not even get a windowless storage room for this price. For the first two months, a high school friend lent me a car - to use until all the formalities to buy and register a car were done . Just one thought:
Anyone who believes in U.S.A. everything is very easy and without complications because the Americans are so nice and always in a good mood is totally wrong - the bureaucracy can compete with ours. What's more: Everything "acquired" in Europe such as driver's license, academic degrees, insurance discounts, etc. means - - --- NOTHING AT ALL!

When the first plane flew into the tower of the World Trade Center, I was in a technical briefing on assembling second-generation mobile phones [with the small color displays] and helped out as a translator, because there were some technicians and engineers present who were not fluent in English and thus unable to follow the remarks of the presenter. This lesson was cancelled and people gathered in the breakfast room [a rather rare thing in U.S. companies, most of them expect their employees to lunch somewhere in a fast food restaurant]. The TV was running and no one was working anymore but saw the coverage of 9/11.

After a few days, it was obvious: The country was deeply shaken, struck in it's identity and those forces that craved for revenge were on top and prevailed. What followed was the ultimate loss of what we know in Europe under the heading "The American Dream."
It was clear to me that I did not want to live and work in such an environment. Without going into details just so much to conclude the story: I sold the furniture and two cars, packed my personal belongings in a big box and left the country at the beginning of September 2002 when my visa expired.

On the background - and for better understanding - I would like to mention that in the years 1963-64 I spent a year as an exchange student in the state of New York, in the very North, close to the border with Canada. After that, I have been there again and again in more or less large intervals. Thus, I know the mood and the people in the country, although not from all regions, but certainly better than some tourists who were in the U.S.A. once for a few days for shopping in one of the major cities .... where one experiences this 'patched' friendliness towards tourists that does not seem real and actually isn't!

In short: I love the country. And those simple people who make up the mass of the population, who are basically friendly to strangers if they behave considerate and appropriate. There is a helpfulness that has been lost in Germany at least in metropolitan areas. The landscapes are breathtaking, and I was fortunate to travel extensively through more than 14 states in the US and to spend many weeks looking around - sometimes with friends or their acquaintances, sometimes with my wife as "tourists", but always on our own, without the "German-speaking tourist guide" so popular with German tourists in the U.S.A., in which only the positive aspects are shown, social and cultural problem areas are hidden. "Everyday life" with its difficulties is not perceived by such package tour operators. No tourist notices any of that.

In 2004 we (my wife & I) flew to the US the last time - and what we experienced at entry by the "Officials" was enough to say:
Never again, not without drastic changes in how the authorities handle entry and treat foreigners.

It is a shame how the country has changed in the past 15 years due to greed and unbridled enrichment of few. Add to that the intimidation by a poorly trained and trigger-happy police, creeping & recurring racism, which is now very obvious under Trump and hardly produces any resistance.

While in the sixties and seventies there were still the small communities that housed the mass of the population, now it is the larger cities that set the tone and have renounced humanity - those who can not fight are lost if they get ill and will be financially ruined most of the time. Those who can not resist the constant pressure to work even more and to have even less free time fall back more and more often on drugs and get broken.

Charity towards the needy (see picture) - once a hallmark of American society - is branded today as a promotion of parasitism. Helpfulness, compassion and humanity are demonized as radical left-wing, socialist ideology.

US society has been shaken to its very foundations, not just since Trump. If there is no change by the Democrats taking over the House of Representatives (Election of Novemver 2018), because there are at least as many of them bribed by "special interest (groups)" ¹,² as there are such Republicans, it won't end well for the country. The only hope are those young, socially and democratically engaged representatives who could call into question the crusted structures from past elections.

That's where my hope is ... and who knows, maybe I can still experience it and fly back there without being scanned and questioned like a criminal on entry.


¹ A special political issue that is at the heart of political advocacy.
² An interest group.

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Thursday, December 27, 2018

There's going to be a time in the coming year where we will enjoy the sunny days at the beach .... promised!

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Monday, December 3, 2018
Men Are Just Happier People!

What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays the same. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear no shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut or a bolt. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress - $5,000. Tux rental - $100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet you have one mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Two pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes - one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes (gift cards). No wonder men are happier!


NICKNAMES:
If Laura, Kate, and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba, and Wild Man.

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though the total is only $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 137. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears, and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY.
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

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Monday, November 5, 2018

Look what a cartoonist had released the day after he died ....

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Tuesday, October 30, 2018
GREAT SEA STORY

The passenger steamer SS Warrimoo was quietly knifing its way through the waters of the mid-Pacific on its way from Vancouver to Australia. The navigator had just finished working out a star fix and brought Captain John DS. Phillips, the result. The Warrimoo's position was LAT 0º 31' N and LONG 179 30' W. The date was 31 December 1899.

"Know what this means?" First Mate Payton broke in, "We're only a few miles from the intersection of the Equator and the International Date Line". Captain Phillips was prankish enough to take full advantage of the opportunity for achieving the navigational freak of a lifetime. He called his navigators to the bridge to check & double check the ship's position. He changed course slightly so as to bear directly on his mark. Then he adjusted the engine speed. The calm weather & clear night worked in his favor. At mid-night the SS Warrimoo lay on the Equator at exactly the point where it crossed the International Date Line! The consequences of this bizarre position were many:

  1. The forward part (bow) of the ship was in the Southern Hemisphere & in the middle of summer.

  2. The rear (stern) was in the Northern Hemisphere & in the middle of winter.

  3. The date in the aft part of the ship was 31 December 1899.

  4. In the bow (forward) part it was 1 January 1900.

This ship was therefore not only in:

Two different days,

Two different months,

Two different years,

Two different seasons

But in two different centuries - all at the same time.

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Wednesday, October 24, 2018

{click! vergrößert die Abbildung}

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Thursday, October 18, 2018

On their way to a church to get married, a young Catholic couple were involved in a fatal car accident.

Being good Catholics the young couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven.

While waiting, they begin to wonder: could they possibly get married in Heaven?

When St. Peter finally showed up, they asked him.

St. Peter said "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out" and he leaves them sitting at the Gate.

After three months, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes" he informs the couple "I can get you married in Heaven".

"Great!" said the couple "But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

"You must be joking" says St. Peter, red-faced with frustration, slamming his clipboard on the ground.

"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple.

"OH, COME ON!" St. Peter shouted "It took me three months to find a priest up here....
Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?"

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Saturday, October 6, 2018

The last three Presidents went up to heaven and stood in front of the Lord.

The Lord asked President Bush what he held dear to his heart.
Bush answered "Free trade, a strong America, and a proud Nation."
"OK" said the Lord "take a seat to my right".

He turns to Obama and wants to know his thoughts.
Obama answers "Democracy, help for the needy, World peace".
"OK" says the Lord "You come sit on my left side".

Turning towards Trump the Lord asks "What do you believe in?"
Trump says:
"I believe you are sitting on my chair!"

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Sunday, September 30, 2018
ITALIAN PASTA DIET

IT REALLY WORKS !!


  1. You walka pasta da bakery.

  2. You walka pasta da candy store.

  3. You walka pasta da Ice Cream shop.

  4. You walka pasta da table and fridge.

You will lose weight!

Good luck trying
& if you really want to eat a good pizza you need to bake one yourself.
The recipe & how to cook it is shown there →

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Monday, September 17, 2018
Air Show Disaster

AIRCRAFT HITS FOUR BUILDINGS

This is tough to watch.

It just shows the dangers of attending these events.

Amazing photo below shows great detail.

The pilot at low level had no control over his aircraft.

It narrowly misses a crowd gathered for the air show and slams into four buildings.

One can only imagine the horror of the occupants inside those buildings.

No one was killed, but it scared the sh*t out of them.
 

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Thursday, September 13, 2018
A matter of "Degree"

The difference is one of degree, not of kind.

Lord Beaverbrook is said to have met an American actress,
presumably at a cocktail party in Toronto, in 1937.
He teased her with the question,
“Would you live with a stranger for a million dollars?”

She said, “Yes.”

“And what about for five pounds?”

She fumed, “What do you think I am?”

He replied,
“We’ve already established that.
Now we are trying to determine the degree.”

[credits]

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Thursday, September 6, 2018
LEXOPHILE

"Lexophile" describes those who have a love for words, such as
"you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish,"
or "To write with a broken pencil is pointless."

An annual competition is held by the New York Times to see who can
create the best original lexophile.

This year's winning submission is posted at the very end.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

When chemists die, they barium.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

I changed my iPad's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club,
but I'd swear I've never met herbivore.

I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says
he can stop any time.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off?
He's all right now.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now
fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.

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Monday, August 27, 2018
Australian Muslims Request Bikini Ban

At Bondi beach, Muslims request beach ban of "BIKINIS" during RAMADAN:

 

Aussies reply with:

 

There we go again ----

Bowing to Muslim wishes!

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Wednesday, August 8, 2018

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Tuesday, July 17, 2018
truthdig II

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Monday, July 16, 2018
truthdig

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Thursday, July 12, 2018

His will provided $30,000 for an elaborate funeral. As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Helen, turned to her oldest friend.

"Well, I'm sure Joe would be pleased," she said.

"I'm sure you're right," replied Sue, who lowered her voice and leaned in close. "So how much did this really cost?"

"All of it," said Helen.

"Thirty thousand." Sue exclaimed, "No! I mean, it was very nice, but $30,000?"

Helen answered,
"The funeral was $6,000.
I donated $500 to the church.
The wake, food, and drinks were another $500.
The rest went for the memorial stone.”

Sue thought for a minute, computing, and said,
"$23,000 for a memorial stone? Geez, how big is it?”

Helen said,
“Two and a half carats.”

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Logic is overrated.

God is an hypothesis, and, as such, stands in need of proof: the onus probandi rests on the theist.

[Percy Bysshe Shelley, 1810]
 
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Comments
I assume this is a
mix of personal taste & tradition carried on by...
Mr.Yoda, 5 months ago
Good Pizza? Maybe “good” is
a kind of subjective definition, but this isn't the way...
c. araxe, 5 months ago
LOL
liuea, 1 year ago

Mr.Yoda, 1 year ago
gib einem christen einen fisch
und er teilt ihn mit seinem nächsten. gib einem...
liuea, 1 year ago
Mir gefällt die allerletzte Variante
- Brett gehalten von zwei Händen - am Besten....
Mr.Yoda, 2 years ago
Total klasse :D vor
allem die Schreibmaschinentastatur
Wolkenweberin, 2 years ago
appreciation amused
again
wilhelm peter, 5 years ago
"use common sense" was what
my foster father told me in '63 - how...
Mr.Yoda, 5 years ago
stop worrying about stop-lists die
ägypter hatten 40 verbote die juden 10 plus zahlreicher verhaltensorders...
wilhelm peter, 5 years ago
I wonder why the
man doesn't just walk off ....
Mr.Yoda, 5 years ago
super
wilhelm peter, 5 years ago

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