A person ordered a sub-marine sandwich.
When she received it she asked
that it be cut into ¼-th's.
The kid said, "I can't.
I already cut it in half."

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Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for half a dozen nuggets.
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the
teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied.
'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
'That's right.'

---

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said,
'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?'
'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her.
With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.

Brunette, by the way!!

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I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car
'Do you need some help?' I asked.
She replied,
'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'
'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,'
she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied,
'Why don't you drive over there and
check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'

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A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'

Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency right now!'

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[Thanks John
- those were good for more than one laugh ....]