Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me again asking why I didn't do something useful with my time. Apparently sitting around the pool and drinking wine is not a good thing.

Talking about my "doing something useful" seems to be her favourite topic of conversation. She was "only thinking of me" and suggested I go down to the senior centre and hang out with the guys.

I did this and when I got home last night I decided to teach her a lesson about staying out of my business. I emailed her and told her that I had joined a Parachute Club.

She replied, "Are you nuts? You are 73 years old, and now you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?"

I told her that I even got a membership card and emailed a copy to her.

She immediately telephoned me, "Good grief, where are your glasses! This is a membership to a **Prostitute Club**, not a Parachute Club!"

I said, "Oh man, I'm in trouble again; I really don't know what to do, I signed up for five jumps a week."

The line went quiet and her friend picked up the phone and said that she
had fainted ....