>>>>>>> MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> A new sign in the bank lobby reads:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> 'Please note that this bank is installing new drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> After months of careful research, "MALE & FEMALE" procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.'
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> *******************************
>>>>>>> MALE PROCEDURE:
>>>>>>> 1. Drive up to the cash machine.
>>>>>>> 2. Put down your car window.
>>>>>>> 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
>>>>>>> 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
>>>>>>> 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
>>>>>>> 6. Put window up.
>>>>>>> 7. Drive off.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> *******************************
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> FEMALE PROCEDURE:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> 1. Drive up to cash machine.
>>>>>>> 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
>>>>>>> 3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
>>>>>>> 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
>>>>>>> 5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
>>>>>>> 6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
>>>>>>> 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
>>>>>>> 8. Insert card.
>>>>>>> 9. Re-insert card the right way.
>>>>>>> 10 Remove card, find correct card. Repeat.....!
>>>>>>> 11. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
>>>>>>> 12. Enter PIN.
>>>>>>> 13. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
>>>>>>> 14. Enter amount of cash required.
>>>>>>> 15. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
>>>>>>> 16. Retrieve cash and receipt.
>>>>>>> 17. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
>>>>>>> 18. Write debit amount in check book register and place receipt in back of check book.
>>>>>>> 19. Re-check makeup.
>>>>>>> 20. Drive forward 2 feet.
>>>>>>> 21. Reverse back to cash machine.
>>>>>>> 22. Retrieve card.
>>>>>>> 23. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
>>>>>>> 24. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
>>>>>>> 25. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
>>>>>>> 26. Re-dial person on cell phone.
>>>>>>> 27. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
>>>>>>> 28. Release Parking Brake.

A definition worth remembering:
There's an annual contest at Bond University, Australia, calling for the appropriate definition of a contemporary term.

This year's chosen term was

The winning student wrote:

"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and promoted by mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of shit by the clean end."