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  Corrupting minds since 2004 ....

 
 

Monday, November 20, 2017
    1.   

    The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was   
    Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.   

    2.   
    I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island,   
    but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .   

    3.   
    She was only a whisky-maker, but he loved her still.   

    4.   
    A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class,   
    because it was a weapon of math disruption.   

    5.   
    No matter how much you push the envelope,  
    it'll still be stationery.   


    6.   
    A dog gave birth to puppies near the road   
    and was cited for littering.   


    7.   
    A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would   
    result in Linoleum Blownapart.   


    8.   
    Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.   


    9.   
    A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall.   
    The police are looking into it.   


    10.   
    Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.   


    11.   
    Atheism is a non-prophet organization.   


    12.  
    Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.   
    One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'   


    13.   
    I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.   


    14.   
    A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said:   
    'Keep off the Grass.'   


    15.   
    The midget fortune-teller who escaped from  
    prison was a small medium at large.   


    16.   
    The soldier who survived mustard gas and   
    pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran..   


    17.   
    A backward poet writes inverse.   


    18.   
    In a democracy it's your vote that counts.   
    In feudalism it's your count that votes.   


    19.   
    When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.   


    20.   
    If you jumped off the bridge in Paris , you'd be in Seine .   


    21.   
    A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an airplane.   
    The stewardess looks at him and says,   
    'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'   


    22.   
    Two fish swim into a concrete wall.   
    One turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'   

    23.   
    Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly,   
    so they lit a fire in the craft.   
    Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again   
    that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.   


    24.   
    Two hydrogen atoms meet.   
    One says, 'I've lost my electron.'   
    The other says,'Are you sure?'   
    The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'   


    25.   
    Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain   
    during a root-canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.   


    26.           
    There was the person who sent ten puns to friends,   
    with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.   
    No pun in ten did.

... Comment



Logic is overrated.
 
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Last modified: 11/20/17 1:56 PM
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Comments
LOL
liuea, 1 month ago

Mr.Yoda, 1 month ago
gib einem christen einen fisch
und er teilt ihn mit seinem nächsten. gib einem...
liuea, 1 month ago
Mir gefällt die allerletzte Variante
- Brett gehalten von zwei Händen - am Besten....
Mr.Yoda, 1 year ago
Total klasse :D vor
allem die Schreibmaschinentastatur
Wolkenweberin, 1 year ago
appreciation amused
again
wilhelm peter, 3 years ago
"use common sense" was what
my foster father told me in '63 - how...
Mr.Yoda, 3 years ago
stop worrying about stop-lists die
ägypter hatten 40 verbote die juden 10 plus zahlreicher verhaltensorders...
wilhelm peter, 3 years ago
I wonder why the
man doesn't just walk off ....
Mr.Yoda, 3 years ago
super
wilhelm peter, 3 years ago

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