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Thursday, September 6, 2018
LEXOPHILE

"Lexophile" describes those who have a love for words, such as
"you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish,"
or "To write with a broken pencil is pointless."

An annual competition is held by the New York Times to see who can
create the best original lexophile.

This year's winning submission is posted at the very end.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

When chemists die, they barium.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

I changed my iPad's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club,
but I'd swear I've never met herbivore.

I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says
he can stop any time.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off?
He's all right now.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now
fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.

... Comment



Logic is overrated.

God is an hypothesis, and, as such, stands in need of proof: the onus probandi rests on the theist.

[Percy Bysshe Shelley, 1810]
 
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Comments
I assume this is a
mix of personal taste & tradition carried on by...
Mr.Yoda, 1 month ago
Good Pizza? Maybe “good” is
a kind of subjective definition, but this isn't the way...
c. araxe, 2 months ago
LOL
liuea, 1 year ago

Mr.Yoda, 1 year ago
gib einem christen einen fisch
und er teilt ihn mit seinem nächsten. gib einem...
liuea, 1 year ago
Mir gefällt die allerletzte Variante
- Brett gehalten von zwei Händen - am Besten....
Mr.Yoda, 2 years ago
Total klasse :D vor
allem die Schreibmaschinentastatur
Wolkenweberin, 2 years ago
appreciation amused
again
wilhelm peter, 4 years ago
"use common sense" was what
my foster father told me in '63 - how...
Mr.Yoda, 4 years ago
stop worrying about stop-lists die
ägypter hatten 40 verbote die juden 10 plus zahlreicher verhaltensorders...
wilhelm peter, 4 years ago
I wonder why the
man doesn't just walk off ....
Mr.Yoda, 5 years ago
super
wilhelm peter, 5 years ago

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